Work Ethic
by Aquamonkey
Summary: Joker is being naughtier than usual, by turning off the air-con on the Normandy. He turns the temperature up and it is getting to the crew. My OC, Scarlet has a way to combat feeling too warm and a little surprise for him. M for language, mild nudity and a bad, bad Joker.


Work Ethic

After returning from a mission, to Kahje to be precise, Shepard had returned to his room. Scarlet had been delivering her cure to Kepler's Syndrome, and after that, she was praised, called a hero and hugged by many an over-friendly Drell. The hero part she wished to object too, but then again, seeing that many happy faces, saying that would have dulled the moment. A few male Drell, each with unique coloured scales, and markings looked at her, but not like men usually did, like she were their prey. With every available way to say 'thanks, and I need to be on my way' exit blocked, their gazes made her feel uncomfortable. They were warm, kind looks, and her heart swelled with emotion. When a little girl ran up to her, and tugged on her pant leg, her eyes watered. The lilac skinned girl was tiny and adorable. It made Scarlet feel motherly, and that for once, a child actually like her, and didn't cry or wail as soon as they saw her. The girl's Mother nodded so she picked up the child and cuddled her. The child whispered 'thank you' in her ear and that was it. She was crying like she would at a soppy film. She put the girl down and she ran over to her Mum.

So the return to the Normandy was a happy one. Until they got on the ship. It felt warm, really warm. Kahje was a warm planet but not too much. The constant rain helped take the edge off of it. She dismissed it and went to her room. She shared it with a few of the crews engineers but she didn't mind. She bumped into Zaeed and she knew within seconds that the heat was not agreeing with him.

"Hello grumpy. I think Joker's turned off the air-con. After being on a warm planet, the least I need is more heat".

Zaeed snorted at her calling him grumpy. "Damn pilot. Better not go up there though, I'd break his goddamned bones if I did".

Scarlet's mouth formed an O. "No! He's vulnerable. Vrolicks's is horrible. I have looked into a cure for it but I think it will take another couple of years before a permanent fix is found for him. It's sad".

Zaeed now smirked. "Oh I'll fix him".

Scarlet smirked back at him, leaving him confused. "Tch, honestly. I have an idea. I think Joker would really like it. I doubt you would though. So seeya".

Scarlet ran off and the merc just shook his head, finishing his coffee before cracking his neck. The scientist ran downstairs to James and Steve. She knew at least one would think her plan was hilarious. The other she had no idea what he would think.

"James! Steve! Good afternoon. Wow, I thought it would cooler down here, but nope".

James seemed rather happy. "I am not arguing, it gets cold down here and it feels like I am back home again. All I need is some sangria and a...".

Scarlet stopped him. "Ah! I do not need to know that. Ahem. Anyway. Since Joker is playing another prank, how about we show him what heat does to people? I am thinking all of us, wearing just tops and underwear stand next to him. See how he likes that".

James laughed, Steve was rather perturbed. James nodded, she knew he would, Steve was apprehensive.

"You don't have to do this. It is optional, I just want to see the look on his face when he sees us".

Steve looked at her and nodded. "Excellent! Right Zaeed would look at me like I have just told him I will shoot the other side of his face off if I ask him so he is out. Liara will blush and turn around, so she is a no. Jack may throw me out the room, Miranda will glare me out of the room, Mordin may say yes, but just to observe our human, er, ness. Hmmmm. Shepard may agree. But that isn't fair, if he agrees, that is three men and only one woman. We need to balance that out. Oh well, at least I get to wear a top, as do you two".

James shook his head. "Like hell am I wearing a top". He threw it off and Scarlet laughed.

"I knew you would say that. Right, time to ask Shepard. If he says yes, meet me in ten minutes. If he doesn't, five. Meet me in the mess hall. Wait...Kelly might say yes, I'll ask her too".

Scarlet walked off to the elevator leaving the two men almost giggling like children at her plan. When she arrived, she saw Shepard scanning through the galaxy map, and Kelly at her terminal, as usual.

"Hey Kelly, Commander. How is everything?" Shepard just nodded.

"The usual, scanning planets, collect minerals. Rather dull but it needs doing. Why, what's up?"

"Hello Miss Moore, and how can I help?" Scarlet smiled.

"You can call me Scarlet you know. And I am fine, I just have an idea. Since the heating has been turned up, I say we play a little trick of our own on our beloved pilot. We, in tops and underwear stand next to him, so he knows that we are too warm and that we will walk around like that till he gets the hint and turns the air-con back on".

Shepard laughed, attracting some attention. Kelly practically squealed the word 'yes' and he soon nodded as well.

"Right. The mess hall, we will meet there and be, er, half naked".

She disappeared into the elevator and arrived in the mess soon after. Kelly and Shepard came down after her and started stripping off. Everyone else had too. James ended up in his boxers, dog tags and boots, Steve in a thin t-shirt and boxers, Shepard took off his shirt and pants, leaving on his boxers and shoes, and Kelly had a tank top on, and panties. They all looked to their plan maker, and she blushed, making them laugh. She then proceeded to take off her shoes, pants and top, revealing a tank top and her underwear. She walked over to a table, and folded her clothes, putting them on a chair. Zaeed and Jack walked in there, and Jack had no expression on her face.

"The fuck is everyone getting naked for? Or is this what I think it is? Damn datapad, I thought you were a good little girl".

Zaeed had a clear view of Scarlet's arse, so he cleared his throat.

"So this is what you were talking about. You can count me out. Fuck".

Both grabbed coffees before walking hurriedly away. Scarlet looked at her state of undress and smirked at what Jack said.

"Me, good? Hah. I am not good at all. Right. let's be off".

The Brit led everyone onto the top deck and towards the target of their prank. They stood behind him, and he swiveled around in his chair. He quickly turned back around and everyone just smirked.

"Er Commander?"

"Yes Joker?"

"Why are people half naked?"

Scarlet jumped in to reply.

"Because we are too warm, but we still need to work. You don't mind, do you, Jeff?"

Joker hit a few buttons and the air-con was back on. Everyone saluted at him, and he grumbled. They all walked away and EDI had to comment on what had happened.

"I believe your plan was a failure Mr Moreau".

He sighed.

"EDI, knock it off. I'll think of something better. Hmmm, I might just turn off the water, in Scarlet's room".

"There is only one switch, and it controls the water in every room".

He sighed again.

"You just had to spoil it, didn't you?"


End file.
